Staff
| Have you ever wondered why you don't get the peace in your life that you so desperately seek? Why you can't feel good about yourself and release your anger? Why you just seem to "go off" in rage when moments before you were so calm (outwardly) and things were so in control, or at least seemed to be? |
Very valid questions, all, yet what are the answers? Does the peace have to be learned or is there some secret sect, religion or culture where one can go to obtain it? It cannot be found quite so easily.
Peace comes quite simply from forgiveness. It is impossible to have without forgiving yourself and others those things that have brought you shame or sorrow or both. When we dwell on our failures and weaknesses and continuously attack our psyche with the "what if I had done this instead" or the deadly "could have, should have, would have, or if only," phrases that tear our mind and spirit apart, it will never be ours.
From a very early age we were taught shame for failures or misjudgments we may have made, as a way to train us into fitting into society and responsibly assuming our place there. As we grew and understood more clearly that we certainly weren't perfect, those of us that really needed to "fit" into the prescribed role our parents or teachers laid out for us worked harder, faster and went farther to achieve the task or work at hand. Not everyone put such strict standards on their personal achievement. Those of us that feel we are "overdosed on responsibility" learn quickly to actually "hide" there and prove to ourselves and others just how valuable we really are to everyone.
When the outcome isn't what we imagined it would be, when the instant acceptance from the "others" does not come we often begin to build walls of resentments and angers that only alienate us further into the agony we feel. People are going to continuously disappoint us. That is a given fact of life. Even if we have realistic expectations, by our definition, often the others have another agenda or purpose, don't see the point, or just frankly through lack of interest or responsibility, don't care. We, without meaning to, build our castles upon the sand of that illusion, feeling all the while that it will surely come to pass the way we want it to. Dreams and visions based on unreal expectations seldom come true for us. Certainly if we are waiting for the others to make it happen for us, we could wait forever.